Sunday, March 1, 2015

Madrasapattinam #2

continued from part 1

It was more or less confirmed that British is at last going to leave India, and India was on the verge of Independence. It will take some time, and just the perfunctory transition of powers everywhere is what might cost some time. Independence was in the air. There were talks of Democracy.

It was a little more than a year when Yuva met Gandhiji again. As soon as he noticed Yuva approaching him, he waved away all the people crowding him and hugged Yuva.

“What magic have you weaved you young wizard? How did you manage to get the British out of Madras? You don't even provide the details in your letters,” asked Gandhiji.

“You can think of me as Sherlock, I choose not to give away too many details before the case is solved.”

“Sherlock huh?  That's so British. You'll never stop reminding me that you are half British.”

“I'm half British alright, but you've made me a complete Gujarati. Ah! I missed dhoklas.”

“You can have as many dhoklas as you desire, but first tell me how you accomplished the task.”

Bapuji, human emotions are tied to fairly simple things in life without which life is tiring, like the way it was for me without dhoklas.” Yuva continued, “What I did was using the influence my grandparents have and relatives got with the Tamilian community, I've instigated some rumors and made them propagate them.”

“Rumors? What sort of rumors? And why would they have such an impact?” asked Gandhiji unable to control his curiosity.

“You might not entirely approve of what has transpired, but this was what happened. I was able to spread the rumors that Hindi would become the country's official language. In the beginning people didn't believe it; they reasoned how could a language as young as Hindi can be made a national Language when India has one of the most ancient languages in the world: Tamil. Then with a little theatricality I've disguised myself as a British general, thanks to my English mother I only had to change my dress and speak using correct language, and talked with a couple of large gatherings and confirmed the rumors indeed were true, as the people who can speak Hindi can be found throughout India and it's relatively n easy language to learn.

Tamilians were very upset, and they wanted a democratic solution for choosing a national language and approached the Tamil elders regarding the dispute. You certainly know that our family has long been a respected family for we've had great poets and musicians. The Tamil elders committee had many of my family members. They came up with this solution, which was provided by me of course, the reason for this situation is the omnipresence of Hindi, so they asked the people not to talk in Hindi and also asked the North Indian settlers to leave.

“Initially they were reluctant to leave but then I started campaigning against the presence of North Indians in Madras and asked people to be hostile to them. And almost after a year they could bear it no longer and most of them moved out, some to their native places, and some to upper coastal states. The campaign was as successful as a boundary that came from the middle of a bat.”

Goddamnit! Off with your cricket references, it's not swadeshi. If you can't help using metaphors use Gilli Danda for god's sake. But still I don't get it, why the presence or absence of North Indians in Madras would have any effect on Britishers?” asked Gandhiji looking gobsmacked.

“Because, the Britishers love, no, they literally live on tea. Although Tamilians are the best for making filter coffee, have no frigging idea how to make tea. And for years, all the tea they got while in Madras was from the Chai wallahs from the north Indian settlers. And once the North Indians moved out there was no way they could get Tea, and after trying tea from locals they've realized why all the locals take coffee but not tea. It's an unwritten law of kitchen. One can't be good at making both coffee and tea. And a Britisher without Tea is like a Green Lantern without his ring.”

“What the hell is a Green lantern? “

“Sorry, I forgot you don't follow US comics, to translate it’s like saying gunmen without his gun, or like a sea without the water. Already they are facing a colossal protest all over India, and in Madras where the Britishers have always traditionally felt home now couldn't even get their basic life requirements. And without their life force the Tea, they felt their stay here was no longer worth it.”

“Yuva, that's brilliant, had I known this I would have launched a Quit Tea campaign and we would have gotten independence decades ago, but in this process you've said a big lie and as per rule you should be banished from the ashram.”

“Well, everything is fair in love and war, and the lie which I propagated was for country's good and not for my personal gain, if you still think I deserve a punishment I'll gladly accept, after all I love you as my own father and Lord Ram has even gone to Forests for his dad.”

“But I'm not Dasharatha. Whatever you did was for a good cause, but the ashram ideology is to 'Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.' so it's against my principles. But I love more than I love my own son. I can't punish you, and for you I can overlook my principles, so don't worry, I'll do what is necessary to absolve you of your sin.”

“What do you mean? How can you do that?”

Gandhiji moved closer to Yuva and whispered, “What if you didn't tell a lie? What if Hindi is going to be our national language? Then there is no lie in what you said.”

“But that's not true. During your discussions, everyone voted for English to be the national language.”

“Yes, I know. But here I promise you Yuva Iyer, son of Vishnu my closest friend, I'll do everything in my power to make Hindi the national language of India.  And this should remain our little secret.” said Gandhiji with a resolute voice and smiled a little in smug way and added, “Come now let's have dhoklas.”

“Thank you Bapuji. I also want my chai after all I'm half British remember? I've too been starved of my life force – tea.”

1 comment:

  1. Good one
    Ravi strikes back
    You have neglected your blog lately write more often. and when will u update circar express?


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