The Goddess of - part 4

continued from part-3

Priya: Alright, I’ll say. But for the god of awesomeness, I thought you might have figured it already. Just reflecting upon our conversation till now should give you a conclusive answer.

Ravi: Wait a minute then, lemme think… Are you the goddess of secret?

Priya: Holy trident, the dimwit finally thinks. Goddess of secrets it is.

Ravi: I’m not a dimwit. I just didn't dwell on your words too much. Hey, Miss goddess of secrets. Hey, can I ask you a question?

Priya: Yeah, go ahead.

Ravi: Please don’t get offended. I’m asking it out of curiosity.

Priya: If it’s offensive, I’ll be offended. Haha. Just kidding, go ahead.

Ravi: Isn’t being the goddess of secrets lame, I mean what are your returns? Why don’t you opt for a different portfolio?

Priya: Well, I have to say that I’m slightly offended, but for your info being the goddess of secrets is not as lame as you think. It’s a very powerful post requiring utmost responsibility.

Ravi: Really? What are your powers?

Priya: Ravi, everyone has secrets. People, animals, even the gods have secrets. Whenever and wherever someone tells a secret or does something clandestinely they invoke me. And I’m privy to every single secret. Even major gods have secret fears. Sometimes they secretly fear something might undo them. All these secrets I know, which even they might not know consciously. I know the ancient secrets that are there that are older than any god or time. I know the secret forces that can bring doom to everything we know as it is now. So If I want I can bring doom of anyone.

Ravi: Fudge! I better not fool with you. Hey, sorry if I have ever offended you please don't take it in a wrong way. You’re my best friend.

Priya: Lol. Ravi, that's okay. I’m a very responsible and mature goddess. I don't do things on the spur of the moment. I follow ancient laws. And yeah, you’re a very good friend. Don’t worry.

Ravi: Holy Hitchcock. You know my secret fear as well?

Priya: Yes, I do. Before you are tenured as a god you all used to hang out a lot with your friends. But gradually you guys became so busy that these days you hardly talk. You fear that someday you might become mere acquaintances.

Ravi: Hmmm.

Priya: Don't you worry, that won't happen. Just talk with everyone. And all I plan to do is just tell everyone your embarrassing secrets and have some fun.

Ravi: You mean to say you know all those things I did for Mahi, and all those things I did along with Mahi.

Priya: Yep!

Ravi: Well, I’m not that embarrassed actually. Mahi is a great girl, I’d do all that again for her if I ever need to. And when I’m with her I don’t think twice before doing any embarrassing stuff. I’ll do whatever she likes. Even if it means flouting rules and doing random stuff. I never took a wife in all these eons. But after meeting Mahi for the first time I should be with this girl forever. She is the love of my life. I met her when I was doing an experiment on myself. A fortnight without any magic. No godly stuff. I delegated my work to my office and I wanted to live just as mortal for a week. She met me when I was my weakest when I was the most awkward. She loved me, just me as it is. I miss her Priya.

Priya: Then why the hell did you break up?

Ravi: Trust me, I ask myself that question every single day. I still don't understand why we broke up. One thing led to another and the next thing I know that we broke up. I want her back, but I don't want to invoke all the divine shenanigans to win her back. I’d just be myself. I’d just try to be an awesome boyfriend and win her over.

Priya: Ravi, actually if you don't want to involve any godly charms you can't be awesome, I mean being awesome is your power, so if try to be awesome you’re using your power.

Ravi: Damn it. Okay. I’ll just be a lame guy, as awkward as an adolescent klutz who just fatuously started shaving his almost non-existent beard in the hope of expediting its growth.

Priya: Sorry but, I can’t control anymore. Right now I’m laughing like an idiot.

Ravi: What’s so funny?

Priya: Because I just realized that when it comes to relationships gods are as clueless as mortal guys. You never understood, did you? I’ll tell you this secret. Trust me when I say this, She although is trying to put a bold face and making an attempt to move on she still loves you and secretly wishes that you two are back. All you need to do is just go and talk to her.

But first things first, you need to stop dating these girls who almost look and behave like Mahi. You know those relationships won't last since all you’re doing is trying to find a duplicate of Mahi. That will never work. What is the maximum time such a relationship lasted?

Ravi: One week.

Priya: It actually lasted a week?

Ravi: Well the first time I lacked the courage to say that the relationship won't work. It took me six days to work up the courage to break up with her. Since the problem was with me. She was almost a near perfect duplicate of Mahi, including her food tastes.

Priya: Hmmm! Awkward or otherwise, just go and sit with Mahi and talk to her.

Ravi: I’ll. Thank you, Priya.

Priya: What about Manasa?

Ravi: She is still sleeping. I’ll just end things with her amicably and stay friends with her. Hey, do you have an additional portfolio of ‘Mending relationships’?

Priya: Nah! I’m just helping out a friend here. All the best. Now I have some of your embarrassing secrets to share with my friends. So, talk to you later.

Ravi: Alright, just keep everything we talked now a secret. Top secret. Of course, you'll otherwise you'd, that's your job description.  :)

---

Analysis: The God and Goddess of these files seem to span multiple mythologies.
Threat level: Zero. Friendly. These gods don't seem to pose any threat.
Remarks: Male God seems to be hopelessly in love and seem to like trains a lot, much like the Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory.

The Goodess of - part 3

continued from part-2

Ravi: Fair enough. Well, here it goes then. Back when I was a kid I had this habit, I’d pick up stones and throw them at a pole. Gradually I got quite fond of the habit. I'd take five small stones and see how many would hit the target. My friends, who at first made fun of me saying I was wasting my time, later unable to contain the curiosity, joined me to check their own accuracy and gradually everyone got so sucked up into it. We loved that game. I was eventually hitting all five of them. It was so nice hearing the large ‘ting’ sound the stone made when it made contact with the pole. As I grew up people made weird faces at me when I did the same, so I stopped doing it when people are nearby. I used to do it only when I'm sure that I'm in a secluded place, like a moor. But it was never the same, in a moor, you don’t have any targets other than trees. And I don't like hitting trees with stones. Later I became a god of awesomeness and everything else happened.

And one day I came in for the presentation, providentially, since I came there just for the coffee. Boardroom in which they discuss the new positions has excellent coffee. I just love it. I came just for the coffee. Anyway, as I sat down they gave us all the manual of the game which contained all the rules etc. There was one way to affect an out, called runout, it involved hitting those three sticks, called wickets, with a ball. And they can do it openly in front of everyone and get cheered for it. Wow. For me that sealed the deal, pushing me into an abyss of nostalgia. And I signed up for it got it as an additional portfolio. I’m very grateful to that chef who makes coffee there because that coffee was the only reason I went there. Now I can’t imagine not being the god of cricket.

Priya: Nice story Mr. god of Cricket. You’re a simple man. Good for you. Anyway, what are your favorite teams?

Ravi: Mr. god of Cricket, wow that feels so good to hear. Well, I like India, South Africa and sometimes Australia.

Priya: Aha! Caught you. That was a trick question, as a god aren’t you supposed to not have any favorite?

Ravi: As I a god I shouldn't favor any team but I can have favorites, it's like in school the way a teacher has a favorite student although he/she would be fair when it comes to grading.

Priya: Fun Fact, teachers are always unfair when it comes to their favorite student.

Ravi: Can we talk about something else?

Priya: Lol. Okay, Mr. Not-so-fair-god of cricket. Just one more question about cricket. How come India or south Africa doesn't win every tournament if they are your favorites.

Ravi: As I told you I give my blessing but I don't favor any teams.

Priya: Come On tell me the truth.

Ravi:. Besides the decision of who wins is an outcome of a council in which many gods participate. I’m the chairgod of the council but I need to take into account views of other gods and godlings. But the real reason is the god of umpiring, a minor god, is mean and is an absolute arse-aperture, my arch enemy. He wishes ill to my favorite teams. And I'm sure he's bribing everyone in the council.

Priya: If that's the case why don't you tackle him, after all, you say he is but a minor god.

Ravi: He is a puny god, but tackling him means that I'm admitting that he is my equal. I want to be seen as a casual, someone who is too top tier to be concerned with all these petty gods and their squabbles. So the issue needs a more cunning approach. Besides, disguised as another mortal, I've been talking to two mortals for an advice on the same.

Priya: And those mortals are?

Ravi: I can't exactly tell you who that is, but he is a tremendous person, a very good captain who turned fortunes of the Indian cricket team and he is known for his heroics in a particular place called the Lords and another mortal is an equally astute man, successor of the aforementioned mortal.

Priya: You're talking to Ganguly and Dhoni?

Ravi: Whoa girl! Usshhh, keep your voice down. Walls have ears. Besides, I never said those names. And if it ever comes up I'll deny.

Priya: What is Manasa doing? You’re a god why do you need a charging point to charge your phone.

Ravi: Priya, when I’m among mortals I try to blend, makes me understand them better. Besides, I wanted some time to think of some pickup lines. I was a little nervous. We are chatting after a long time, it felt so good, so I’ve put Manasa to sleep.

Priya: Why did you take a train in the first place?

Ravi: I love trains. Indian trains in particular. They are so vibrant and spectacular. They always have a story to tell if only one would listen. It offers me absolute serenity and seclusion in the midst of these boisterous crowd. What an irony. This continuous background noise lulls me, calms me and actually helps me coalesce my thoughts. Sit on a side lower seat with the strong wind in your face, sipping a delightful coffee and suddenly you have the solution for the problem you have been pondering over for weeks. I take most of my important decisions during a train journey. Manasa likes trains as well, just like Mahi. So it was perfect for our date.

Priya: I like trains too.

Ravi: Aren’t they awesome. Hey, you misdirected the most important question all this time. What goddess are you? Come one tell it already. This is unfair.

Priya: Why don’t you just leave it. I never broke rules before and I don't want to.

Ravi: So you still are a tiny little demigod then?

Priya: Alright, I’ll say. But for the god of awesomeness I thought you might have figured it already. Just reflecting upon our conversation till now should give you a conclusive answer.

- to be continued in part 4 (click here)