Saturday, August 13, 2016

The Goodess of - part 2

continued from part-1

Priya: Really? What courses do they have? Did you take that?

Ravi: Of course I took it. They have an entire gamut of courses like, ‘Cod to god your first course’, ‘The first course on being a god for a demigod’, ‘how to handle godly nerves’, ‘Being a god for dummies’, ‘Choosing the right portfolio’, ‘Complete guide to divinity’, ‘Being a god for complete beginners’, ‘Learn how to be a loved worshipped and honored god from scratch’ and many other awesome courses. Their list has grown considerably. The best part is they offer lifetime support, which means you can call their helpdesk whenever you’re in doubt or depressed.They are very professional. They helped a lot of gods overcome their initial jitters.

Priya: How come I never heard of it. Where do those classes take place?

Ravi: Right at Mount Kailash. It’s an awesome place in Tibet, never visited that place?

Priya: I visited when I was a little girl. I live light years away from Mount Kailash. So I don’t think I can take those courses.

Ravi: Aha! You’re very lucky, my dear. I helped them set up online tutorials. They have collaborated with coursera so that we can take certified courses right in our homes. I have a friend in heaven, called Dijkstra, I roped him and helped them set an automated process. He came up with this idea of giving all gods a unique id composed of digits. You can use it to register and do certification courses if you are willing to write the exam at the end or you can just audit them.

Priya: This is an awesome news, you’re an awesome friend, I mean not awesome as in your power, I mean you’re a great friend. But, hey, my internet speeds are so not so good. :(

Ravi: Which ISP are you using?

Priya: Pavan internet, a company of the wind god. They actually provide good download and upload speeds, as much as the speed of the wind, but the connection is blotchy.

Ravi: Did you try Surya’s net by the sun god? They are the fastest yet. Some guys think that it might be the fastest speed we can ever get, based on their calculations. They have a download speed of 3 x 108 MB/s. They literally transmit at the speed of light.

Priya: Wow, that really is some dope speed. But I live in a place where it is night for months at a time. So I don't think I can get that service in my area.

Ravi: Hey there are some plots up for sale near the Vishnu's. Why don’t you come there? That is one heck of a place. They are selling like out like freshly forged weapons. Everyone wants to live near Lord Vishnu and goddess Lakshmi. You know goddess Lakshmi, being the goddess of wealth, everyone wants to be friends with her.

Priya: It’d be great to live there. Like a nice gated community. But isn’t that the costliest place as of now?

Ravi: Yes it is, but who cares, I’m rich. god of awesomeness always paid me a lot. But recently, being the god of cricket has surpassed the amount I get for being the god of awesomeness. Who would have ever thought? for a long time, other gods thought being a god of cricket is an insult I'm inflicting on myself. But I knew that I was doing the right thing when I signed up for that portfolio. Now cricket pays me more. People pray for an outcome of a match, wants my blessing and all kinds of things. When we compare not a lot of people exactly pray for ‘god, please make me awesome!’ when compared to ‘god may my team win’, ‘god may Dhoni end it with a six’ and many more things than we can imagine. Cricketers, their families, their nations, their fans, and even the gamblers worship me, knowingly or unknowingly.

Priya: Okay, I get it that you’re rich. But how would that help me in buying the plot near the Vishnu's?

Ravi: Because I’m a close friend of Vishnu. We are like what the mortals call as best friends forever. I can get a plot for you, no problem. But don’t tell to anyone, it should be our little secret. I don’t want to start another war among gods.

Priya: Trust me I’m the best when it comes to keeping secrets. Hey, what did you mean when you said that you don't want to start ‘another’ war among war among gods? Did you start the first one?

Ravi: No, of course not. It was just an expression. Hmmm.

Priya: Hmmm! Hey, Can I know how you ended up signing up for being the god of cricket when no one ever did? I mean why did you do that?

Ravi: I can tell you, it’s not exactly a secret.

Priya: I know it’s not a secret. I’d have fished it out had it been a secret. Now tell me why you did that.

Ravi: Well long story, when the position was up no one really wanted it, cricket, the sport just took its birth, so no one wanted to take it. I thought to myself, what the heck and I offered to take the position. At that time most other gods and godlings warned me not to since they felt it'd only make me lesser among the gods. Besides, they were all wondering why the god awesomeness needs an additional job?
Suddenly people were seeing me as if I wasn't making my ends meet and hence taking an additional job. It was very frustrating back then.

Priya: You didn’t tell me why you took it.

Ravi: Hmmm. You’re a smart goddess. Well, to be honest, it was because of a small hobby of sorts of mine. It's really nothing and you shouldn’t laugh at it after listening. Okay?

Priya: Okay, I swear. I won’t.

Ravi: How can I know that you didn’t laugh. This is just a chat. Take the sacred oath.

Priya: Okay, I’m taking the sacred oath, that ‘I’ll try not to laugh after hearing your story’.

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